The Cost of People-Pleasing: Why Prioritizing Yourself Matters

At some point in life, you have to learn to prioritize yourself over others. Being a people pleaser and constantly seeking validation from others will eventually lead to misery. I’ve spent so much of my time doing things to make those around me happy, but it never truly made me happy.

As a child, the only thing you really want is to make your parents proud. So, you work hard, do the things they tell you to do, and exert yourself in tasks that would otherwise mean nothing to you, all in the hope of gaining their approval. Initially, their validation feels rewarding, but at what cost?

I have put so much time and effort into my sport, but I realized it's not driven by passion or personal desire. It’s not for me; it’s for them. Even more so, I realized I don’t want these things; I just want people to see me have them. But what did it cost?

The mental and physical stress I endured was overwhelming. At first, it’s just a wave of nausea in your stomach, and you brush it off as jitters. But then it gets worse. I found myself pacing around my room, struggling to breathe, and whispering assurances to myself. I found myself too scared to even walk out the door, and instead, breaking down at even the thought of stepping out. I found myself avoiding conversations about my sport, stressed even while watching it on TV. I found myself pushing the memories and thoughts of it all away from my mind to avoid feeling those feelings again. So my question is: is it really worth it?

I’ve concluded that it isn’t. Should I continue to put myself through this? Do the benefits outweigh the costs? The answer is no. Don’t overthink things when it comes to your well-being. It’s okay to prioritize yourself over others. Don’t go down the rabbit hole of “what will they think,” “how will they see me,” or “is it even that deep.” I wish I had cared more about myself sooner.

You are your own person, and you make your own decisions. Choose what is best for you. Yes, you may disappoint some people, but that is only temporary. If you prioritize yourself, that is forever. I only wish I had learned this sooner and spared myself the pain.

Ultimately, the journey to self-acceptance and prioritizing your own needs is not always easy, but it is essential. Learning to value your own happiness and well-being over the approval of others is a crucial step toward a more fulfilling life. Remember, it's okay to make choices that are right for you, even if they disappoint others.